Yesssss... the eternal struggle "to love oneself" AND the pressure of the famous quote that "we must love ourselves before we can love others."
So what does this do internally to me? First, I'm hit with guilt that I don't fully love myself yet, and therefore, additional guilt that perhaps my deep love for others is not yet real or substantial. These two quotes/thoughts (which we've all been raised on) really do a number on not providing me really anything helpful at all I'm now realizing and how I've bought into both my entire life.
The important question I see now is how do I feel about my own self-love and my expression of love for others away from these two quotes. It's complicated, love for oneself and for others, and it's both amazing and trying, independent and codependent, direct and indirect, obvious and unseen... the list goes on. And love is never felt the same for anyone, is it? Even in how we feel love (for self and others) we are alone.
How do I make my way through this amazing and intertangled existence I have with myself and others and what do I need to do more of, and perhaps less of, for peace with my immense and intense emotions I have in this beautiful thing we call LIFE? Lots to ponder. Thank you, Francesca!
oh my goodness, yes! Thank you, so much, Kimbra, for reading, for reflecting, for sharing with me / us here! Especially this: "Even in how we feel love (for self and others) we are alone." That's so true! And both terrifying and liberating! I think one of the reasons I am drawn to bell hooks's "love is a verb" (also Erich Fromm The Art of Loving and so many others) is because it doesn't care so much about my inner dialogue with myself. Instead, it prioritizes what I actually DO. In other words, I can use my words to tell someone I love them, but if my actions aren't backing it up, it's hollow. And I guess there's some instruction for love of self in there, as well. How do we care for ourselves--allow ourselves rest, tend to our own needs, celebrate ourselves, in much the same way we would a loved one--that ACTS like love? Even in spite of, or because of, our thoughts / ideas of self-loathing? Thank you, Kimbra! xoxo
imagine my delight and surprise! You my friend are so easy to love. I am glad that you are finding glimpses of belief to see that. This poem is splendid, and the playlist is magical. welcoming and makes my heart go boom! Thank you for sharing your writing week after week - it makes my heart go Boom
Yesssss... the eternal struggle "to love oneself" AND the pressure of the famous quote that "we must love ourselves before we can love others."
So what does this do internally to me? First, I'm hit with guilt that I don't fully love myself yet, and therefore, additional guilt that perhaps my deep love for others is not yet real or substantial. These two quotes/thoughts (which we've all been raised on) really do a number on not providing me really anything helpful at all I'm now realizing and how I've bought into both my entire life.
The important question I see now is how do I feel about my own self-love and my expression of love for others away from these two quotes. It's complicated, love for oneself and for others, and it's both amazing and trying, independent and codependent, direct and indirect, obvious and unseen... the list goes on. And love is never felt the same for anyone, is it? Even in how we feel love (for self and others) we are alone.
How do I make my way through this amazing and intertangled existence I have with myself and others and what do I need to do more of, and perhaps less of, for peace with my immense and intense emotions I have in this beautiful thing we call LIFE? Lots to ponder. Thank you, Francesca!
oh my goodness, yes! Thank you, so much, Kimbra, for reading, for reflecting, for sharing with me / us here! Especially this: "Even in how we feel love (for self and others) we are alone." That's so true! And both terrifying and liberating! I think one of the reasons I am drawn to bell hooks's "love is a verb" (also Erich Fromm The Art of Loving and so many others) is because it doesn't care so much about my inner dialogue with myself. Instead, it prioritizes what I actually DO. In other words, I can use my words to tell someone I love them, but if my actions aren't backing it up, it's hollow. And I guess there's some instruction for love of self in there, as well. How do we care for ourselves--allow ourselves rest, tend to our own needs, celebrate ourselves, in much the same way we would a loved one--that ACTS like love? Even in spite of, or because of, our thoughts / ideas of self-loathing? Thank you, Kimbra! xoxo
imagine my delight and surprise! You my friend are so easy to love. I am glad that you are finding glimpses of belief to see that. This poem is splendid, and the playlist is magical. welcoming and makes my heart go boom! Thank you for sharing your writing week after week - it makes my heart go Boom
love you mucho, friend. xoxoxo 💛